LTK: Where’s my Red Carpet !?!

Dear Kevin,

In Week 5, now that I official know I am pregnant, I feel AMAZING! As in, I feel like I am currently doing the most important thing in my life! Actually, like I am doing the most important thing EVER!

Okay I understand that pregnancy and birth have been taking place for bazillions of years, but I AM CREATING LIFE! Where’s my red carpet !?!

Do these people at the grocery store have any idea how important I am right now? Okay so I’m not even showing, but why aren’t they making wide and gracious paths for me to pass in honor as I choose the most nutritious food for my baby?

Why doesn’t the guy, who just cut me off to get exactly two feet ahead of me for the RED light, completely break down in embarrassment and shame for having put this life I am carrying in almost certain near danger??

And why doesn’t the woman at the Target counter stop staring at me with dropped jaw, and just help me find the shirt I need in another color? Obviously I can’t see through the fountain of tears that I have no control over right now!

Maybe this lack of respect and acknowledgement is a good thing. I’m like a celebrity in disguise. I can walk among these citizens to go about the very important business I am conducting without interruption. Like when I’m digging through the strawberries boxes until I find exactly the perfect box, or when I’m meticulously inspecting the spotlessness of my car after the $12 wash I just paid for. Clearly Folate and Cleanliness are of upmost importance to my new responsibilities!

OH, geez, okay. I’ll shut the fuck up now.





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